Apologies to Nancy Reagan

I followed Nancy Reagan's advice. Alas, my answer has changed.

Even though I was born before that, I’m a child of the ’80s who took the “Just Say No to Drugs” campaign very seriously. I wouldn’t even eat cough drops as candy. I made it through adolescence as a “clean teen,” and as an adult, I avoid pain medicine as much as possible.

Now, I’m awaiting a call from my drug dealer. The drugs are legal, depending on how you use them, but they’re drugs nonetheless — a whole lot of drugs. That’s one side of in-vitro fertilization I forgot to think about. I was prepared for the injections; I just didn’t realize I’d have my own pharmacy of tablets, powders, vials, inserts and syringes. In the next 30 days, I will have taken multiple doses of eight medications through multiple methods, rooter to tooter. That doesn’t include a prenatal vitamin and the hazily wonderful hospital drugs to come.

Like any fiend, I’m anxious to talk to my pusher to work out the drop and how much these high-end, high-copay pharmaceuticals will cost me.

So even as I struggle to wrap my mind around it all, Nancy will just have to understand.

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